Palm Beach Cardinals and Jupiter Hammerheads to attempt to determine “Who is Then?”
Over the past weeks, ESPN has done a phenomenally awesome job of answering the incredibly unimportant question, “Who is Now?” The Jupiter Hammerheads and the Palm Beach Cardinals plan to take the question to its logical follow-up. Beginning on Friday, August 3, the two Florida State League clubs will finally put to rest the question that’s been on everyone’s mind, “Who is Then?”
The person who is the most “Then” was more than just a top performer in their field. They had all the peripherals, too. In their day they all had entourages, endorsement deals and a little thing called respect. Choosing not to limit ourselves the way ESPN did, the Cardinals and Hammerheads threw the field wide open to some of the greatest names in the history of history. They were leaders of empires, opinion makers and household names. Now they are largely irrelevant to everyday life.
The most “Then” person will be decided via tournament bracket. The field has been limited to the elitest of the Elite Eight. Each night two of those monsters lacking modernity will face off. Our panel of experts – usually ballplayers from the night’s game – will give their opinions about the contestants. The voting will then be turned over to the fans. Each fan that enters the ballpark will be given one vote per day. There will also be an internet vote on RogerDeanStadium.com. The ultimate winner – the Zen of Then – will be determined on August 9th, when the Hammerheads host
An Now the Matchups
Opening Night (Friday, Aug. 3): Plato vs. Bill Clinton
Plato: Plato used his brain to climb to the top of
Bill Clinton: The former
much to “Pseudo-Now” wife Hillary’s chagrin. While Abraham Lincoln will be remembered for his Gettysburg Address, no one will ever forget Clinton and the Blue Dress.
Night Two (Saturday, Aug. 4): Pete Rose vs. Stuart Scott
Pete Rose: The Hit King was pretty now when he broke Ty Cobb’s record for most career hits. He was even “Now-er” when he was banned from baseball for gambling. Rose had many endorsements during his hey day and even owned two restaurants, one in
Stuart Scott: In theory, Scott must have been “now” at some point. How else can you explain why this guy constantly shows up in
Night Three (Sunday, Aug. 5) Marilyn Monroe vs. Cleopatra
Marilyn Monroe: The buxom blonde is still the standard-bearer for
Cleopatra: The Egyptian pharaoh is perhaps the most famous female ruler of all time. During her reign of
Night Four (Monday, Aug. 6): Napoleon vs. George Washington
Napoleon Bonaparte: The French general is considered to have possessed one of the greatest military minds in history, helping spread the French Revolution throughout
George Washington: Often referred to as the Father of our Country,
Night Five (Tuesday, Aug 7): Semi 1 - Plato/Clinton winner vs. Rose/Scott winner.
Night Six (Wednesday, Aug. 8): Semi 2 – Cleopatra/Monroe winner vs. Napoleon/Washington winner.
Night Seven (Thursday, August 9): Finals
Those considered contest but ultimately judged “Not Then-worthy” included: Gary Coleman, Vlad Dracula, Attila the Hun, Ghengis Kahn, Julius Cesar, Fred Flintstone, John Wayne, Barry Bonds, Chris Berman, John Madden, Joan of Arc, Noah of ark fame, Alexander the Great, Thomas Edison, Ben Franklin, William Shakespeare, Abraham Lincoln, William Howard Taft, the Hawley Smoot Tariff, Dale Earnhardt Sr. and Mr. Ed.